Daria Transcript Montage
Aug. 26th, 2010 02:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
codedotDaria is a TV animated series by MTV Animation. My [attention: the first usage of this word in my - oh, the second one - blog] high school time passed in similar style.
http://www.mtv.com/shows/daria/series.jhtml
Below is my own compilation of its transcripts, namely, the first two episodes' ones: Esteemers and The Invitation. Just in case if you [yet another word in my blog vocabulary] do not know, there are two kinds of people thinking there are more meaningful tasks I can handle than I do now: who hire me, and those going to hell.
(in Mrs. Manson's office; Daria, Quinn, and Mrs. Manson are seated at a table)
Mrs. Manson - Now, Quinn... what do you see here? (holds up a photo)
Quinn - It's a picture of two people talking.
Mrs. Manson - That's right. Can you make up a little story about what it is they're discussing?
Quinn - I'm not even supposed to be taking this test. I'm exempt.
Mrs. Manson - You won't be graded.
Quinn - Oh. Okay, then. Let's see... they've been going out for awhile, and he's upset because other people keep asking her out, and she saying she can't help it if she's attractive and popular, and besides, nobody ever said they were going steady, and if he does want to go steady he's got to do a lot better than movie, burger, back seat, movie, burger, back seat, because there are plenty of guys with bigger back seats waiting to take her someplace nice!
Mrs. Manson - Very good, Quinn! Now, Dora, let's see if you can make up a story as vivid as your sister's.
Daria - It's Daria.
Mrs. Manson - I'm sorry... Daria. What do you see in the picture, Dara?
Daria - Um... a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains.
Mrs. Manson - Uh, there aren't any ponies. It's two people.
Daria - Last time I took one of these tests, they told me they were clouds. They said they could be whatever I wanted.
Mrs. Manson - That's a different test, dear. In this test, they're people, and you tell me what they're discussing.
Daria - Oh... I see. All right, then. It's a guy and a girl and they're discussing... a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains.
(Mrs. Manson scowls and slowly lowers the photo as Daria smirks)
---
(at Daria's house; the family is eating dinner)
Quinn - Is she going to have, like, a breakdown or something? 'Cause that could really mess me up with my new friends.
Daria - Don't worry. I don't have low self-esteem. It's a mistake.
Jake - I'll say!
Daria - I have low esteem for everyone else.
---
(in self-esteem class; Mr. O'Neill is at the front desk, with about a half-dozen students scattered throughout the room)
Daria - Excuse me. I have a question.
Mr. O'Neill - Sorry, question and answer time is later.
Daria - I want to know what "realizing your actuality" means.
Mr. O'Neill - It means... look, just let me get through this part, okay? Then there'll be a video! (to entire class) Before we unlock your potential...
(a black-haired girl, clothed in black with a red jacket, leans forward to speak to Daria)
Jane - He doesn't know what it means. He's got the speech memorized. Just enjoy the nice man's soothing voice.
Daria - How am I supposed to follow him if I don't know what he's talking about?
Jane - I can fill you in later. I've taken this course six times.
---
(walking home)
Daria - I don't get it, Jane. You've got the entire course memorized. How come you can't pass the test to get out?
Jane - I could pass the test, but I like having low self-esteem. It makes me feel special.
---
(Daria and Jane are walking down the hall; they pass Quinn and some boy talking by the lockers)
Boy - So... like, what do you like to do after school?
Quinn - Oh, nothing special. Go to the movies... or, like, a theme park... or out for a really fancy meal now and then... or maybe go to a concert, if, like, I know somebody's got good seats and is renting a limo and stuff.
Jane - You hear that? He hasn't got a prayer.
Daria - Tell me about it. That's my sister.
Jane - Oh. Bummer.
Boy - So, you've got any brothers or sisters?
Quinn - I'm an only child.
(Daria gets a sour look on her face)
---
(in self-esteem class)
Mr. O'Neill - What's a daydream that you'd like to see come true?
Daria - Well, I guess I'd like my whole family to do something together.
Mr. O'Neill - Excellent!
Daria - Something that'll really make them suffer.
---
(students file out the door)
Jane - Nice one.
Daria - Thanks.
---
(at Daria's house; the family is eating dinner)
Jake - How's the old self-esteem coming, kiddo?
Daria - My self-esteem teacher says that being addressed all my life with childish epithets like "kiddo" is probably a key source of my problem.
Jake - (distressed) Really?
Daria - No.
Jake - (laughs) Isn't she great? She's the greatest.
Helen - She sure is. But what does your self-esteem teacher say?
Daria - He says I should think back to circumstances that brought me happiness as a child and replicate them... but I suppose Quinn's here to stay.
Quinn - What's that supposed to mean?
Daria - You ought to know. You're the only child.
Quinn - How would you like to have a sister with a... a "thing"!
Helen - Come on, Daria, finish what you were saying.
Daria - I thought, why don't we go to Pizza Forest for dinner like we did when we were kids?
(Helen, Jake, and Quinn begin to freak out)
Quinn - The place with the singers?!
Daria - Boy, do I miss those songs.
---
(at Jane's house)
Daria - You know all the answers to the questions on the release test, right?
Jane - I've got them in my notebook.
Daria - Well, why don't we just take the test tomorrow and get out of the class once and for all?
Jane - How would I spend my afternoons?
---
(in self-esteem class)
Daria - We feel really good about ourselves.
Jane - We want to take the graduation test.
Mr. O'Neill - Well! I'm glad your self-image meter is on the uptick! But there's still three more weeks of class left.
Daria - This first week has been a real eye-opener. It must be the way you teach.
Mr. O'Neill - (flattered) Oh, well... thank you very much. (to Jane) You know, you look familiar somehow...
---
(Daria steps up to podium in the school auditorium)
Daria - Winning the fight against low self-esteem takes support... from teachers, from friends, and most of all, from family.
Corey - Is that loser still talking?
Daria - And so, the one person I'd like to thank more than any other is my very own sister, Quinn Morgendorffer. (audience gasps; Quinn's jaw drops to the floor) My sister Quinn has forgotten more about self-esteem than I'll ever know. Are you out there, sis? Stand up and let me thank you.
(Quinn cringes and tries to hide as her friends turn to gape at her)
Corey - That, like, brain is your sister?!
Kid - Are you a brain, too?
(Daria smirks)
---
(at Daria's house; the family is at the kitchen table; Quinn is having a royal fit)
Quinn - So then, she gets up in front of the whole school and makes a big deal about thanking me!
Helen - That's really sweet, Daria.
Jake - Good for you, honey!
Quinn - Oh! (slams fists on table) I'll have to lock myself in my room until I die! I'll never talk to anyone for the rest of my life! (phone rings) That's for me. (picks up phone) Hello? Matthew?! (walks out of kitchen)
Jake - What was she upset about, exactly?
Daria - She felt I should have thanked you and Mom as well.
---
(at school; Mack and Kevin are at their lockers)
Kevin - Yo, Mack Daddy. You coming to Brittany's party?
Mack - Don't call me that, okay? What's this party for, anyway?
Kevin - Um...
Mack - Stop if it starts to hurt.
---
(at Jane's house)
Daria - If you want to go, just make believe you're me. When you're popular, all unpopular people look alike anyway.
(Jane takes Daria's glasses and puts them on her face)
Jane - (monotone voice) "Hi, I'm Daria. Go to hell." (normal voice) It won't work. My face is too expressive.
---
(at Brittany's house)
Blonde Girl - Now she's really popular, but not as popular as she is. He's medium popular, and he just bought a great car so soon he'll be getting more popular. That guy was just popular enough to be invited, but now he needs to hook up with a girl who's more popular than he is.
(outside, Daria and Jane approach Brittany's house)
Daria - You really want to do this?
Jane - You know, just because people are cliquey and snotty is no reason not to like them.
Daria - Or hate them.
Jane - Chin up, nose up, let's go.
---
(at Brittany's house)
Blonde Girl - Now, she used to be very popular, but then then there was that unfortunate nose job. That one behind the tiger? She was new and cute so she became, like, popular overnight. (points at Daria and Jane) Those three aren't popular at all. I don't know what they're doing here. Maybe some kind of exchange program.
---
(Jane notices two guys staring at her and Daria)
Guy #1 - Hey. Partying hard or hardly partying?
Daria - Hardly interested.
Guy #2 - So... where you girls been all our lives?
Daria - Waiting here for you. We were born in this room, we grew up in this room, and we thought we would die here... alone. But now you've arrived, and our lives can truly begin.
Guy #2 (to Guy #1) - She likes you.
Jane - Hey. Isn't that Quinn?
Daria - Where?
Jane - Over there, hiding behind the ceramic tiger.
Daria - (waves) Yoo-hoo! Sis!
(Quinn ducks back behind the tiger)
---
(Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie are following Quinn)
Joey - I'm glad we found you.
Jeffy - We were looking all over.
Jamie - I looked the hardest.
(Quinn spots Daria coming in her direction)
Quinn - Uh, I gotta go to the bathroom.
Joey - You need some help?
Jeffy - I'll go with you.
Quinn - It's the bathroom!
(Daria approaches Quinn)
Daria - Hi, sis!
Quinn - Aren't you a little out of place here? And everywhere else on Earth? (goes into bathroom and locks door)
(Daria turns to face the Three J's)
Daria - Hi, I'm Quinn's brainy sister. People say we look alike.
http://www.mtv.com/shows/daria/series.jhtml
Below is my own compilation of its transcripts, namely, the first two episodes' ones: Esteemers and The Invitation. Just in case if you [yet another word in my blog vocabulary] do not know, there are two kinds of people thinking there are more meaningful tasks I can handle than I do now: who hire me, and those going to hell.
(in Mrs. Manson's office; Daria, Quinn, and Mrs. Manson are seated at a table)
Mrs. Manson - Now, Quinn... what do you see here? (holds up a photo)
Quinn - It's a picture of two people talking.
Mrs. Manson - That's right. Can you make up a little story about what it is they're discussing?
Quinn - I'm not even supposed to be taking this test. I'm exempt.
Mrs. Manson - You won't be graded.
Quinn - Oh. Okay, then. Let's see... they've been going out for awhile, and he's upset because other people keep asking her out, and she saying she can't help it if she's attractive and popular, and besides, nobody ever said they were going steady, and if he does want to go steady he's got to do a lot better than movie, burger, back seat, movie, burger, back seat, because there are plenty of guys with bigger back seats waiting to take her someplace nice!
Mrs. Manson - Very good, Quinn! Now, Dora, let's see if you can make up a story as vivid as your sister's.
Daria - It's Daria.
Mrs. Manson - I'm sorry... Daria. What do you see in the picture, Dara?
Daria - Um... a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains.
Mrs. Manson - Uh, there aren't any ponies. It's two people.
Daria - Last time I took one of these tests, they told me they were clouds. They said they could be whatever I wanted.
Mrs. Manson - That's a different test, dear. In this test, they're people, and you tell me what they're discussing.
Daria - Oh... I see. All right, then. It's a guy and a girl and they're discussing... a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains.
(Mrs. Manson scowls and slowly lowers the photo as Daria smirks)
---
(at Daria's house; the family is eating dinner)
Quinn - Is she going to have, like, a breakdown or something? 'Cause that could really mess me up with my new friends.
Daria - Don't worry. I don't have low self-esteem. It's a mistake.
Jake - I'll say!
Daria - I have low esteem for everyone else.
---
(in self-esteem class; Mr. O'Neill is at the front desk, with about a half-dozen students scattered throughout the room)
Daria - Excuse me. I have a question.
Mr. O'Neill - Sorry, question and answer time is later.
Daria - I want to know what "realizing your actuality" means.
Mr. O'Neill - It means... look, just let me get through this part, okay? Then there'll be a video! (to entire class) Before we unlock your potential...
(a black-haired girl, clothed in black with a red jacket, leans forward to speak to Daria)
Jane - He doesn't know what it means. He's got the speech memorized. Just enjoy the nice man's soothing voice.
Daria - How am I supposed to follow him if I don't know what he's talking about?
Jane - I can fill you in later. I've taken this course six times.
---
(walking home)
Daria - I don't get it, Jane. You've got the entire course memorized. How come you can't pass the test to get out?
Jane - I could pass the test, but I like having low self-esteem. It makes me feel special.
---
(Daria and Jane are walking down the hall; they pass Quinn and some boy talking by the lockers)
Boy - So... like, what do you like to do after school?
Quinn - Oh, nothing special. Go to the movies... or, like, a theme park... or out for a really fancy meal now and then... or maybe go to a concert, if, like, I know somebody's got good seats and is renting a limo and stuff.
Jane - You hear that? He hasn't got a prayer.
Daria - Tell me about it. That's my sister.
Jane - Oh. Bummer.
Boy - So, you've got any brothers or sisters?
Quinn - I'm an only child.
(Daria gets a sour look on her face)
---
(in self-esteem class)
Mr. O'Neill - What's a daydream that you'd like to see come true?
Daria - Well, I guess I'd like my whole family to do something together.
Mr. O'Neill - Excellent!
Daria - Something that'll really make them suffer.
---
(students file out the door)
Jane - Nice one.
Daria - Thanks.
---
(at Daria's house; the family is eating dinner)
Jake - How's the old self-esteem coming, kiddo?
Daria - My self-esteem teacher says that being addressed all my life with childish epithets like "kiddo" is probably a key source of my problem.
Jake - (distressed) Really?
Daria - No.
Jake - (laughs) Isn't she great? She's the greatest.
Helen - She sure is. But what does your self-esteem teacher say?
Daria - He says I should think back to circumstances that brought me happiness as a child and replicate them... but I suppose Quinn's here to stay.
Quinn - What's that supposed to mean?
Daria - You ought to know. You're the only child.
Quinn - How would you like to have a sister with a... a "thing"!
Helen - Come on, Daria, finish what you were saying.
Daria - I thought, why don't we go to Pizza Forest for dinner like we did when we were kids?
(Helen, Jake, and Quinn begin to freak out)
Quinn - The place with the singers?!
Daria - Boy, do I miss those songs.
---
(at Jane's house)
Daria - You know all the answers to the questions on the release test, right?
Jane - I've got them in my notebook.
Daria - Well, why don't we just take the test tomorrow and get out of the class once and for all?
Jane - How would I spend my afternoons?
---
(in self-esteem class)
Daria - We feel really good about ourselves.
Jane - We want to take the graduation test.
Mr. O'Neill - Well! I'm glad your self-image meter is on the uptick! But there's still three more weeks of class left.
Daria - This first week has been a real eye-opener. It must be the way you teach.
Mr. O'Neill - (flattered) Oh, well... thank you very much. (to Jane) You know, you look familiar somehow...
---
(Daria steps up to podium in the school auditorium)
Daria - Winning the fight against low self-esteem takes support... from teachers, from friends, and most of all, from family.
Corey - Is that loser still talking?
Daria - And so, the one person I'd like to thank more than any other is my very own sister, Quinn Morgendorffer. (audience gasps; Quinn's jaw drops to the floor) My sister Quinn has forgotten more about self-esteem than I'll ever know. Are you out there, sis? Stand up and let me thank you.
(Quinn cringes and tries to hide as her friends turn to gape at her)
Corey - That, like, brain is your sister?!
Kid - Are you a brain, too?
(Daria smirks)
---
(at Daria's house; the family is at the kitchen table; Quinn is having a royal fit)
Quinn - So then, she gets up in front of the whole school and makes a big deal about thanking me!
Helen - That's really sweet, Daria.
Jake - Good for you, honey!
Quinn - Oh! (slams fists on table) I'll have to lock myself in my room until I die! I'll never talk to anyone for the rest of my life! (phone rings) That's for me. (picks up phone) Hello? Matthew?! (walks out of kitchen)
Jake - What was she upset about, exactly?
Daria - She felt I should have thanked you and Mom as well.
---
(at school; Mack and Kevin are at their lockers)
Kevin - Yo, Mack Daddy. You coming to Brittany's party?
Mack - Don't call me that, okay? What's this party for, anyway?
Kevin - Um...
Mack - Stop if it starts to hurt.
---
(at Jane's house)
Daria - If you want to go, just make believe you're me. When you're popular, all unpopular people look alike anyway.
(Jane takes Daria's glasses and puts them on her face)
Jane - (monotone voice) "Hi, I'm Daria. Go to hell." (normal voice) It won't work. My face is too expressive.
---
(at Brittany's house)
Blonde Girl - Now she's really popular, but not as popular as she is. He's medium popular, and he just bought a great car so soon he'll be getting more popular. That guy was just popular enough to be invited, but now he needs to hook up with a girl who's more popular than he is.
(outside, Daria and Jane approach Brittany's house)
Daria - You really want to do this?
Jane - You know, just because people are cliquey and snotty is no reason not to like them.
Daria - Or hate them.
Jane - Chin up, nose up, let's go.
---
(at Brittany's house)
Blonde Girl - Now, she used to be very popular, but then then there was that unfortunate nose job. That one behind the tiger? She was new and cute so she became, like, popular overnight. (points at Daria and Jane) Those three aren't popular at all. I don't know what they're doing here. Maybe some kind of exchange program.
---
(Jane notices two guys staring at her and Daria)
Guy #1 - Hey. Partying hard or hardly partying?
Daria - Hardly interested.
Guy #2 - So... where you girls been all our lives?
Daria - Waiting here for you. We were born in this room, we grew up in this room, and we thought we would die here... alone. But now you've arrived, and our lives can truly begin.
Guy #2 (to Guy #1) - She likes you.
Jane - Hey. Isn't that Quinn?
Daria - Where?
Jane - Over there, hiding behind the ceramic tiger.
Daria - (waves) Yoo-hoo! Sis!
(Quinn ducks back behind the tiger)
---
(Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie are following Quinn)
Joey - I'm glad we found you.
Jeffy - We were looking all over.
Jamie - I looked the hardest.
(Quinn spots Daria coming in her direction)
Quinn - Uh, I gotta go to the bathroom.
Joey - You need some help?
Jeffy - I'll go with you.
Quinn - It's the bathroom!
(Daria approaches Quinn)
Daria - Hi, sis!
Quinn - Aren't you a little out of place here? And everywhere else on Earth? (goes into bathroom and locks door)
(Daria turns to face the Three J's)
Daria - Hi, I'm Quinn's brainy sister. People say we look alike.
